I wanted to write a piece on women in Nepal. It’s been taking some time. I wanted to believe that some progress was being made in the country a year after the historic elections bringing the Maoists to power in April 2008. Much has been expected from the new Maoist-led leadership. The international community has stood side-by-side – willing the new government to take bold reforms and seize a historic opportunity for reform.
If you speak to people in the local streets, they do not carry much optimism. My neighborhood is in Patan, near Kathmandu. I, on the other hand, have a lot of the innocence or the mistaken thoughts that comes with being foreign. Last week my optimism crumbled within a few seconds and with it came a realisation that the person on the street has infinately more at stake in the new Nepal. For this reason she might only feel a quiet hope.
Recently I was reminded by a friend that I don’t seem as outspoken against cultural norms that prohibit women from living their lives as equals in my society – whatever my society is. I always thought I did, but then didn’t want to join the cheerleading that goes on with misunderstanding developing country societies. I’m often the one arguing for understanding arguments from both sides, and wanting to work with men and communities to reduce the risk of vulnerability girls and women face in combating sexism, discrimination and violence. Sometimes, though, some issues are just that: black and white – and bringing ‘culture’ into the discussion simply excuses inexcusable human behavior.
‘Sanu’ (name changed), a young women living just outside Kathmandu had died from being beaten to death by her husband two weeks ago. ‘Sanu’ is my friend Pralad’s sister, and when Pralad told me the news of his tragedy I wasn’t sure if I heard it right. He told me in broken English and Hindi, both of which were second languages to him. Judging by the sounds of his voice, intermittently broken by cries, I knew death had occurred. It’s not often you see grown men crying in pain – and this is how I saw Pralad for the next few days. ‘Sanu’ had married a close relative who was comparatively better-off than her own family. She was severely beaten at night; in the previous day she had hot oil poured onto her body’; and was then made to drink a toxic liquid. The cause of death was officially recorded as poisoning.
Sadly this is not an isolated tragedy but one that is repeated again and again in different parts of the county – in villages, across towns, in the hills and the plains. Nepal’s 10 year-long conflict has ended, but still tens of thousands of women in the country still suffer from domestic violence. In about 80% of cases, the perpetrator is not a stranger to the woman but a member of her own family.
Despite rising political awareness of rights, most women in Nepal are still subject to deeply entrenched discrimination, resulting in a common place situation where violence against them is commonplace. A lack of rights for women and children is exacerbated by the enduring poverty in the country. Nepal is the least developed country in South Asia according to the United Nation ( source: 2006 UN Human Development Index). It also has one of the worst records of gender-based violence in Asia.
Human rights activists say domestic violence is rife in Nepal because there is a lack of effective laws or penalties to punish the guilty. The men can get away with such crimes with as little as a slap on the wrist.
Currently a 2002 bill to combat domestic violence is on hold with no prospects of being passed.
The bill is an important piece of legislation that could support Nepalese women who suffer in silence. Without such a law, men abusing their wives can get off without punishment or sanction since in many cases social attitudes make it acceptable for men and other senior members of the family to control the women in the house.
Domestic violence continues because people think it is acceptable and will turn a blind eye. Again, many people see domestic abuse as acceptable – the odd slap here and there for burning food or refusing to have sex with a husband or simply going out. The law is one step in promoting change. Human rights NGOs in Nepal say that many crimes like marital rap, sexual abuse by relatives, trafficking and torture of girls and women, will all have some origin in domestic violence. Changing people’s attitudes to domestic violence is also needed. This is the common theme in campaigns on violence against women in such places as Nepal, Nairobi, and Northern Ireland.
The biggest challenge in Nepal is that domestic violence is seen as a private family affair, and outside intervention is seen as just that – interference.
If there is one law I’d like to see passed in the next year and one that shows the commitment of the new government to a better future for Nepalese women – it’s the Domestic Violence Bill. I write this on 8th March on International Women’s Day with thoughts of ‘Sanu’ and thousands like her on my mind.
